This week, Milla Jovovich’s Alice (we know her name is Alice because she says “My name is Alice” like, 12 times in every movie) returns to the big screen to battle viral zombies yet again in Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. As the title implies, this is to be the last sequel in the franchise, which would be great because Milla clearly deserves a nap — I say “would be” because, as movie franchise history has taught us, there is no such thing as a final chapter. To prove it, we’ve collected 15 movie sequels with titles that promised they’d be the last; they most definitely were not.
At some point we’re all going to have to stop asking, “Is this real life?! Is this really happening right now?!” The daily proliferation of surreal news headlines will never feel normal (nor should they), but it’s the frequency our country is operating at now, and it will likely continue at this pitch for the next four years, which officially kicked off today. In the latest episode of The Surreal Life, Donald Trump basically plagiarized Bane, Tom Hardy’s mush-mouthed villain from The Dark Knight Rises, in his inauguration speech.
It’s hard to pass judgment on iPhone’s new “theatre mode” because, well, it doesn’t exist out in the real world just yet. But according to a new report, that might be changing sooner rather than later, as Apple’s latest update is said to include this mysterious function. What is it, exactly? What does it do? Is this good news or bad news? Is the sanctity of the theatrical experience facing a new, insidious threat? Whatever it is, we’ll probably find out on January 10, when the iOS 10.3 beta rolls out to iPhone users.
Today we mourn the loss of Carrie Fisher: Iconic actor, talented author, brilliant script doctor and, most of all, an incomparable force to be reckoned with. There are so many great adjectives you could use to describe Fisher: Uncompromising, unapologetic, fierce, witty, relatable, real, honest. She took all of those qualities and put them to work in her books — from memoirs to novels, Fisher had a knack for telling poignant and painful stories with wit and wisdom. Writing a worthy obituary for one of the best and boldest women on this planet or any other is surely an impossible task…so it’s a good thing that the perfect obit basically already exists, and unsurprisingly, Fisher came up with it herself.
When it was first announced, The Emoji Movie sounded like a joke — the inevitable apex of big budget studio movies based on products least likely to inspire a feature-length narrative. But Sony Pictures Animation has followed through on its threat to unleash an animated adventure featuring a walking and talking poop emoji, and we have the first teaser trailer to prove it.
The first trailer for Kong: Skull Island debuted at Comic-Con back in July, offering a sneak peek that was more visually exciting and intriguing than we could have possibly hoped, clearly evoking classic war films like Apocalypse Now and The Thin Red Line — you know, but with a giant ape. After a week of teasers and images preparing us for Kong’s revival, a new official trailer has arrived online heralding a bigger, badder return for the legendary movie monster.
Trolls. Ouija. Battleship. G.I. Joe. My Little Pony. LEGOs — okay, well, that last one really defied expectations, but overall, movies based on beloved classic toys are a real crapshoot. And that’s exactly how Bob Weinstein describes his plan to make a live-action / CGI hybrid movie based on Furby. “I’m rolling the dice and playing for hits,” Weinstein said at the American Film Market before revealing that the “Dimension” part of TWC-Dimension is actually a gaping void to look upon with great uncertainty and existential dread, a place where the realm of man is reflected in infinite emptiness — or so Werner Herzog might say.
We’ll never get to see that series of 2016 election ads starring Terry Crews, but there’s still good news for fans of President Camacho and Mike Judge’s Idiocracy: The 2006 cult classic comedy is celebrating its 10th anniversary by returning to theaters this October, just one month ahead of the presidential election — you know, just in case you need a little boost of humor (or a scarily prescient reminder) before you head into the voting booth.
What ya gonna do, what ya gonna do when a movie based on the COPS TV series comes for you? No, really. What are you going to do? Are you going to pay actual money to see what is quite possibly the weirdest attempt to cash in on brand recognition? Or will you stay at home and watch reruns on TruTV or whatever? Let’s be honest: Only one of these is filmed live and on location with the men and women of law enforcement.
Chances are, you or someone you know either shares their Netflix and HBO Go passwords or benefits from using someone else’s account. It’s such a common occurrence that, when asked about it, even the CEO of HBO was like, “No big deal,” then he tipped his shades and sent out a memo with a shrug emoticon — okay, I made that last part up, but if even that guy doesn’t care, then what’s the problem? Oh, just a little something called Federal Law.
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