Craigslist Missed Connection: There Might Be A Reason Why Mr. Portland Greenthumb Is Single

Another gem in the Maine missed connections on Craigslist, let's dissect why this guy might be single!

I'm not here to trash anybody's game on how to pick up the ladies, but when I saw this ad and kept reading, I found myself shaking my head instinctively. Let's go through this line by line.

Saw you when I came to the dog park, wanted to come over and ask a billion questions (see list below) but I promised my dog 45 minutes and you left before we were done.

A BILLION questions!? Let's start with like 2 and if those go really well, maybe we could get to a billion at some point. Also, you "promised" your dog 45 minutes....do dogs really know what promises are? I mean, really....

Questions, based on my observations of the garden over this spring:
- how big is your plot, how much does it cost?
- do you get access all year, or did you transplant in that garlic?

We hit a real rough patch here. I know it's an innocent question, but there's just something that feels so wrong about asking a woman how big her "plot" is. Or how much it costs! Plus asking for access all year following those first two questions and you've really put yourself in an awkward, unintended bind.

- there's so way those brassicas about three plots in front of yours weren't started outside, somebody invested some time in those. 
- are you single? Can we eat dinner together sometime?
- do you have to water it or can you get your plot neighbors to do it if you go away for a week or something?

I'm dumb so I legit have no idea what a brassica is but I can't imagine comparing brassicas is a regular pass time for anyone....ever. I really love that this guy tucked the are you single and can we grab dinner in between 5 other questions. Smooth. Probably like her brassicas. Finally, what kind of question is that to close on? Are "plot neighbors" a thing?

Maybe I'm just completely naive to the green thumb culture and how to pick up plant chicks. I wish this gent luck, because everyone needs a little love. And brassicas.

Oh, here's the full ad from Craigslist.