When you can add the word "again" at the end of the sentence "A man was bitten on his penis by a spider," you know you've got a good story.

Unfortunately for one Australian man, this is his reality. While using a portable toilet, a spider went Down Under and bit him on his unit. Amazingly, a spider bit him on "pretty much the same spot" only five months ago -- also on a portable toilet -- which begs three very important questions:

  1. Why do spiders dislike him so much?
  2. Did he develop any superpowers?
  3. Do you really want to use a port-a-potty the next time you go to a music festival?

The man, named Jordan -- he won't reveal his last name, probably out of fear some Green Goblin-fighting arachnid will Google him to find out where he lives -- said:

I'm the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment. I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time. I was like, 'I can't believe it's happened again.' I looked down and I've seen a few little legs come from around the rim."

Jordan didn't lose his mind (unlike this yokel or this terrified lady) and went to the hospital, but was released. Making matters even worse? His co-workers laughed about it, perhaps because they had some serious deja vu watching him wince.

Jordan also said he won't use portable toilets again anytime soon, which means he has developed a superpower: the ability to hold it in.