Reddit User Asks For Fun Things To Do In Portland While Day Drunk, Responses Are Classic
A visitor to Maine posted on Reddit a week ago asking for fun things to do while day drunk in Portland, here are my 4 avorite responses.
First off, let me be honest and state that I've been day drunk in Portland on many occasions. I'll also admit that I've never once thought about posting on Reddit during these instances. The responses this guy got were not things ANYONE should be doing whether day or not....but man, are they fantastic.
1. Pass out in the grassy median on Franklin Arterial
JD's Take: I guess if you're foggy enough, this would be a comfy place to park up. Except for traffic blasting by on both sides and the fact that the Police might ask to have a word or two with you.
2. Duck Boat Tour....because you can just puke over the side
JD's Take: Started so promising because a Duck Boat tour does sound fun...but I'm positive there's no puking over the side of the boat allowed. What better way to ruin a family's day than watching a complete stranger yak over the side of a duck boat and getting that whiff of fresh vomit.
3. Hop on the ferry and get lost on Peaks Island
JD's Take: Again, started promising because Peaks isn't a bad place to explore during the day...but getting lost? We don't need a search and rescue event taking place some random afternoon. You also don't need the local news interviewing your clown friends who all talk about how "you were right next to them a minute ago" or "you may have had a bit too much and really like exploring". Stick to the mainland kids.
4. Find some traffic...and play in it
JD's Take: If i thought old people used Reddit, then I'd feel confident as to who posted this response. Let me say for the record, that you should never play in traffic. Now that we've gotten that safety first message out of the way, this response is something I've been told by my parents and grandparents at least 100 times. "mom, i'm bored!", "Then go play in traffic!" I don't know where this started but I do know that it's a phrase thats part of Maine culture.
Have any responses of your own? What do you do when you're day drunk in Portland?