Staring contests might be one of the greatest -and least dangerous- instant competitions in all of human history. Simple, effective, and completely meaningless. Sounds harmless, right? Well not completely.

So there I was, going about my daily radio business, when suddenly I caught someone staring into the WCYY window. He was up in the window of the National Guard Office across the street, and it looked like he was looking in here pretty intently. Naturally, not wanting to be outdone, I engaged in a staring contest.

Growing up in a town where, admittedly, there wasn't much to do, staring contests would happen periodically in my youth. I even fancied my abilities at one point - so I wasn't gonna let this creepy guy win. Embarrassingly though, after about 30 seconds of this, I looked a little closer at the guy. He looked a little clammy and stiff... And he hadn't moved at all since...

Wait...

...Oh crap. Yep, you guessed it - I just had a staring contest with a mannequin. Fortunately, I didn't give up until I realized this, or I would have LOST a staring contest to a mannequin.

... Never in my life have I so severely questioned the choices that led me to this point.