Can We Talk About Maine Guys Who Wear Shorts When It’s Below Zero?
Maine has recently seen some of the coldest temperatures of the 2021 winter season so far. Lows on the morning of January 31 were reported all below zero across the state with Fryeburg winning, as they usually do, with a low temperature of 15 below.
This is the kind of weather that as a kid, you mother would dress you in so many layers you felt like Ralphie's younger brother in A Christmas Story.
I know that this is Maine and a little cold never hurt us, but let's be real here for a second guys. Even though the standard uniform in the summer for a lot of you is work boots, a pair of cargo shorts and a can of Twisted Tea, you kind of really stand out at the end of January outside of Hannaford talking with your buddy at the back end of your truck while wearing your mask and still sporting the same boots and cargo shorts.
Listen, I'm not telling you how to dress here. You do you man. You just got my attention and I have several questions I'd like to ask to help me understand what you're thinking here.
1. Why do you wear shorts with everything beneath your knee to your boot exposed to 15 below air with wind chills far below that, and still wear a winter jacket?
2. Just how long can you stay out in this weather while wearing your shorts before your shins change color?
3. Does your mother know you do this? Because I'm pretty sure she probably taught you otherwise.
4. Do you keep the temperature in your home at a low level so your body acclimates easier to sub zero wind chills?
5. Have you ever spent the night in an igloo?
Like I said, you do you man. I respect that you are bold enough to brave the cold wearing cargo shorts. You sir are a true Mainer, who can brave the outdoors in cargo shorts 365 days a year without batting an eye. I salute you. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to turn up the thermostat.