A Maine Grocery Store Employee (Almost) Said the Most Savage Thing
It was about a year ago that I moved to Maine and there's one thing that stands out to me the most. And shockingly, it's not that I learned the hard way to never -- NEVER -- call myself a Mainer (I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking of how I was verbally venus fly trapped on Facebook in the comments section when I did.)
It's actually the amazing personalities that employees at any store with a checkout line have.
Especially the employee at a Maine grocery store I was recently at that dropped the most savage one-liner on me -- almost.
What is Buc-ee's?
In a sentence -- Buc-ee's is the most amazing, palace-like, incredible glorified gas station you'll ever experience if your entire life if you're lucky. Unfortunately, they're only in southern states like Texas, Kentucky, etc.
Due to living out in Oklahoma for a couple of years and some road trips with friends out there, I've been to Buc-ee's a handful of times -- and I have a hat and hoodie to show the proof. I never really expect anyone to know what the "BUC-EE'S, EST. 1982" on my hat means when I wear it.
So, I was naturally thrown off when I was at the checkout line of the grocery store and while the clerk was running my groceries through the scanner, the bagger asked, "Is that a Buc-ee's hat?" -- which naturally turned into an in-depth conversation about why either of us knew anything about Buc-ee's and bragging about our Buc-ee's experiences (it's just what you do -- like when tourists visit Red's Eats in Wiscasset or the OOB Pier.)
As she bagged my last purchase and put it in the cart, we exchanged goodbyes like new best friends and I turned to the poor clerk who had been scanning (and ignored) the entire time to get my receipt, thanking her during the handoff.
And that's when I thought I heard the most savage one-liner ever one-lined from someone who probably felt like she was on the outside looking in for a solid 5-7 minutes.
Have a great life!
At that point I was honestly on autopilot, so said, "Thanks, you too!" took two steps and stopped dead in my tracks. I laughed and turned to the clerk.
Wait, did you just tell me to have a great life? You're a savage, I love it!
Except that's not what she said. She told me to have a great night, not life, and clearly it was my guilty conscience for straight up ignoring her to have a deep dive convo about Buc-ee's with her co-worker that heard her statement wrong.
But honestly, I almost wish she told me to have a great life. Because what a perfect one-liner to drop to someone who blatantly (although without meaning to) ignored your entire existence.