What if You Encounter a Knife-Wielding Crab in New England?
If you’ve ever been camping in New England, or just thought about going, you’ve likely had the same thought that haunts even the most grizzled outdoors person: what if an animal gets into the tent?
We’ve all heard tales of bears, foxes, or raccoons rummaging for food while you slumber – or, gulp, deciding you’ll do just fine. But chances are you’ve never had a scare like that of a man camping in Japan: a frightful encounter with a knife-wielding crab.
Michigan resident Kyle King posted a video of the incident on his TikTok, which has since amassed millions of views. Luckily, Kyle made it out safely, but you may not be as lucky.
As New England’s summer fades to fall, and crustaceans grow even more aggressive as they forage for food, here’s what to do if you encounter a knife-wielding crab…
Ask if he wants cash or accepts Venmo.
Ask for his Insta so you can tag him in the photo.
Tell him Sebastian is dope and Flounder's just frontin'.
Say, “Et tu, crab?”
Say if he surrenders now, he'll just be charged with "clamslaughter."
Pitch him that screenplay you’ve been working on – “Crabnado.”
Tell him you only go to Red Lobster for the cheese biscuits. Even crabs gotsta have dem cheese biscuits!!
Tell him he might get away with the knife thing, but he’ll get busted when he tries to steal back his football memorabilia.
Don't crab-walk; crab-run! #DadJoke
Hope you’re saved by a good crab with a knife!
And the most important thing to do if you're confronted by a Knife-Wielding Crab...
Name Him the Official Mascot of Hampton Beach.
Here's another TikTok of the crab in case you wanted to see one more time: