What’s Your Handle, Portland?
Vulching through Portland this time of year is a lot of fun. You see license plates from all over Maine and the rest of the hemisphere--and maybe New Zealand. Airlifting extra. During Summertime, you see how we like to dress out cars, trucks and motorcycles--or golf carts for that matter. The State of Maine provides 20 or 30 options for license plates, alone: from Veteran to Custom Vehicle, to Black Bear, Wabnaki and Vacationland. Of course, for a small-ish fee, you could probably have just about anything put on your ride.
In the entrepreneurial spirit, this has got to be a huge money-maker for the State.
And in true Maine fashion, the options are limitless: Libationland (150-odd bars in Greater Portland, alone), Ovationland (for our fine music and arts), Staycationland (random or occasional poverty), Playstationland (see the previous example), Waystationland (gypsies, hobos and other through-hikers), Litigationland (for one-half of the general population who went to Maine Law), Transferstationland, Plantationland (if you're a transplant to Portland from northern Maine, say T2-R6), Exitationland (for our love of anything new), Irritationland ( because of other drivers who make us fly our birds two at a time--kind of our thing), Altercationland and Citationland (every Maine town has discovered that it can make lots of moula if you screw up).
So, ask the State O' Maine if they can accommodate you--you know you have something that defines you and your life. And, although your fee for this spiffy new license plate won't clean up the air or put more kids through school, it will go a long way toward making sure you're acknowledged by the rest of us.
Culture Vulture/Punkstationland (WCYY)