The Chickadee Has Worn Out Its Welcome: Maine Deserves a New State Bird

Mainers deserve better.

Well, that statement could send me in a lot of directions—but today, we’re taking aim at that little pipsqueak that serves as the official bird of Maine. It’s time we’re honest with ourselves: the chickadee stinks.

Does Maine Need a New State Bird?

No offense to all you black-capped chickadee fans, but what has that dorky little loudmouth ever done to deserve the recognition it gets? The honor of being the state bird of the greatest state in the nation is just too important to give to some lame bird with nothing going for it.

I mean, just look at this dork.

Seriously—why the chickadee? I’m guessing it’s because we used to be part of that egregious state called Massachusetts, right? The chickadee is the Commonwealth’s state bird as well. Apparently, Maine’s founders thought we were only as good as Massachusetts. Boy, how wrong they were.

What Makes the Chickadee So Terrible?

What does a chickadee actually do that’s unique? I’m going to assume very little. However, I can tell you everything that’s wrong with it. Let’s list off the many tragedies of the chickadee:

-They're ugly.
-They're small.
-They're annoyingly loud.
-They live for, like, three years.
-They eat caterpillars, so they hate butterflies.
-They hog feeders that are primarily for prettier birds.
-They are on the worst license plate Maine has ever had. Thank God it changed.

What a disaster for Mainers who actually care about what represents them. It might truly be the worst state bird choice in the history of the United States.

Fortunately, it’s not too late to fix this egregious error. Maine is loaded with better bird options—majestic birds of prey, impressive waterfowl, and colorful beauties that actually deserve the honor.

READ MORE: Maine’s 20 Top-Rated Lighthouses You Need to Visit

That’s what led me to the list below, where you’ll find 20 birds that would all be better choices than the boring, washed-up chickadee.