There's lot of potential hazards any time you step foot into the Maine woods. There's plenty of wildlife, most of which is more scared of you than you are of them. There's a handful of plants that can do some damage and make for an unpleasant evening as well.

But perhaps the most pesky issue any good Mainer faces heading into the woods is the bugs. Ticks are more prevalent than ever which is wildly annoying. But for most people, ticks still rate second to the deadliest creature on the planet, the mosquito.

Mosquito on human hand
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An Unfortunate Incident in the Maine Woods Involving a Mosquito

That's why a Mainer reached out on Reddit to ask for any suggestions when it comes to keeping mosquitos away. Not necessarily away in general, but keeping them from biting his  ass.

You see, this person loves venturing into the woods, where they've created a little sanctuary. But the peacefulness has been interrupted by ass itch. And it's all from mosquitos who have gotten smart.

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As Redditor EunModu explains, the mosquitos he sees are not a bother to him. It's the advanced technique mosquitos that are ruining the fun for everyone else.

He claims to have tried every kind of pants product there is, from Dickie's to polymer fabric to good ole-fashioned jeans. Nothing has worked. He returns home and his ass is a mine field of mosquito bites.

Close up picture of a young woman holding her butt, she needs to poop, outdoor
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Other Maine People Offer Suggestions to Avoid Mosquito Bites On Your Butt

But here in Maine, if you ask for suggestions, we're always willing to lend an opinion. The top three suggestions were this:

  • Apply bug spray directly to your ass. Don't be afraid of it.
  • Wear fishing waders while enjoying your quiet time in the woods. Bet them suckers can't bite through that.
  • Layer up that seat and your ass with extra blankets. Toss a fan on, too, because mosquitos are weak flyers.

Will it help? Will the ass biting stop? Nobody knows for sure. Mosquitos are the deadliest creature on Earth, and their bloodlust knows no bounds. Everyone's ass is fair game.

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