Barstool's Dave Portnoy Loses Control Of Boat in Nantucket, MA

This. Is. Amazing. One of my favorite parts about this chaotic man (Dave Portnoy) is not only his brutal honesty, but his ties to Massachusetts, which allow us to relate so much to his content.

His most recent chaotic activity happened in a place you might be familiar with: Nantucket, Massachusetts. His parents were up on the island for a visit, and when they wanted to take his boat for a spin, Dave found himself stranded in the harbor with no cell phone when the boat "died". Watch this:

It's the transparency for me. Nantucket is absolutely gorgeous. My family and I typically go for a weekend every other summer, so I can close my eyes and place exactly where this went down. The press took this one and ran with it, so Dave did what he does best, and hopped online to shut down the rumors:

I didn't take my cell phone because I didn't want it to get wet, then I ended up shooting off a flair in the middle of the harbor just to be able to ask for help -Dave

The internet is absolutely sprinting with this one, calling him "Captain Dave". Also, bringing Miss Peaches to the Zach Bryan concert at Fenway Park in Boston was such a move. If you haven't seen this yet, listen to him tell the entire story. It may be one of the funniest things I have ever listened to:

Captain Dave for the win. Captain Peaches coming soon.