Don't let the headline fool you.
I don't know who this Durham, Maine, couple is, and until Tuesday, October 31, 2023, I never even knew they existed. But all I know is that they've ruined Halloween for me, but not in a negative way.
There's just no possible way that any Halloween after this past one will ever reach the epic levels of awesome that this year's did...
...or should I say it will "neiiiggghhhh-ver" reach this year's level. And yes, that was a horse "neigh" -- follow along.
I had just given a group of five trick or treaters some candy when I turned my attention to my phone for a few seconds, not even noticing that the five of them had gathered to the left of me in my driveway until I saw bright flashes going off.
I was more confused at why they were randomly taking pictures in my driveway than concerned, until I saw them walk away, leaving a couple with a stroller, and something else I couldn't really make out.
As they made their way closer to my front steps and the area that was lit the most, I noticed what looked like a dog attached to a leash. And I mean, who doesn't love a good trick or treating dog on Halloween? Except, as they all got closer, I realized it wasn't a dog, and I literally yelled so loud I'm pretty sure the whole neighborhood hates me now.
OH MY GOD IS THAT A FREAKIN' MINI HORSE?!
The couple honestly couldn't have been nicer -- but then again, thinking about it now, when a grown man starts geeking out the same way a teenage girl probably would if she became best friends with Taylor Swift, but over a mini horse -- you'd probably be super nice too, just to play it safe.
Immediately, I remembered that I had apples in my fridge and probably way-too-excitedly asked (and by asked, I mean I was probably still yelling without realizing it), after giving candy to their actual human child, if I could give an apple to their mini horse child.
A fluffy guy has never run so fast into his house to the fridge to search for the perfect apple than I did once they said, "Yes." And, honestly after they let me hold the apple while he took a couple of bites before they said thanks and moved on, I realized that I probably just peaked in life and by far no Halloween would ever be better.
In fact, I literally caps lock tweeted about it in the most annoying way (sorry, not sorry.)
One last side note that hit a bit different and is admittedly a bit of a stretch -- the couple, who told me they're actually from Durham and not the town of Brunswick where they happened to be on my front steps, told me that the mini horse's name was Joey.
And, immediately, my head went to the show Friends, finding it fitting that I geeked out over a mini horse as if he was my new best friend and his name is Joey, considering my friends refer to me as the "Real Life Chandler" since I actually did move to Tulsa, Oklahoma, for a job, like Matthew Perry's character did on the show.
Like I said, it's a bit of a stretch, but I geeked out over a freakin' mini horse, what do you expect out of me?