Dear Officer Durham of the Wilton Police Department,

This is a letter of extreme gratitude.

Last weekend, as I was traveling to the Monadnock Region to visit my sister, on my way up Temple Mountain.  You know the area well - that's your "beat," so to speak, so you know that when you are at the bottom of the mountain, on the Eastside, there is an opportunity to pass someone if they are going too slow up the mountain.

When I accelerated to pass, I heard a loud POOF!  then.... my beautiful Buick..... Died.  Up and died with me in it.   I tried to start it up again, but no... it wasn't happening.

Luckily, I was able to get it to the side of the road and I made the phone call that everyone has to make sometimes in their life - I called for a tow.  They told me that someone would be there in about an hour.  I REALLY had to pee and there was no way that I would be able to hold it, so that was a problem, but I thanked them and did what any country girl would do, I peed on the side of 101.

So, Officer Durham, you might as yourself, how does a girl pee on the side of the road without anyone seeing her?  Funny you should ask.  Here's how I did it:  I opened up the passenger side door in the front and in the back.  Then, I took a jacket and spread it out between the two doors so it creates a curtain of sorts, pulled down the old jeans and Bob's your Uncle.  Maybe you know this already.  Do you have daughters?  Anyway, if not,  you're welcome for the tutorial.  Necessity is the Mother of Invention.

After waiting an hour and 15 minutes on the side of the road, I called the tow company again and they assured me that someone would contact me soon.  I was hopeful and waited another hour.  After almost three hours of waiting, I finally decided to call the one guy who I should have called all along.  I called the Wilton Police Department and you, Officer Durham, showed up in 5 minutes.

As you were telling me that the tow guy would be there in minutes, it showed up!  Voila!  Just like that!  I was actually going to be saved!  I quickly canceled my tow from the other company, who as it turns out, had no intention of coming to get me.  They told me their truck was broken. (they could have said something three hours prior, don't you think?)  You saved the day, Officer Durham!

Anyway, as you were standing there watching my beloved Buick go up on the truck, you noticed something that any good officer would notice, my car was unregistered.  As I was sitting there for the past three hours, I too had discovered that fact.  I couldn't believe it.  Apparently, I had the Buick inspected and thought I was done.  Ummm... nope.  You didn't give me a ticket.  Hoorah!

I'm not done with singing your praises, Officer Durham, so you just hold up one minute.  You also saw that I had something on my keyring that you wanted me to explain.  I have a mini-baton with me at all times.  It was my Mother's and she loved it.  She got it from a Nashua cop that she loved and now she's dead, so it's mine.  I thought you might scold me for having it, (I'm not sure why...) but you didn't.  Love that!

Thank you for being so kind to me and saving the day.  For a while, I really thought I would have to sleep in my car on the side of 101 in Wilton.  I mean, I'm an optimist and try to do things that I have never done before, so I would have been fine, but gosh, I was glad to see you.

Go forth and protect the world, Officer Durham!  Know that you have a fan in this girl!  OH, do you know any good car dealerships?  I'm in the market.

Goosebumps and other bodily reactions, explained

 

LOOK: Here are the best lake towns to live in

Many of the included towns jump out at the casual observer as popular summer-rental spots--the Ozarks' Branson, Missouri, or Arizona's Lake Havasu--it might surprise you to dive deeper into some quality-of-life offerings beyond the beach and vacation homes. You'll likely pick up some knowledge from a wide range of Americana: one of the last remaining 1950s-style drive-ins in the Midwest; a Florida town that started as a Civil War veteran retirement area; an island boasting some of the country's top public schools and wealth-earners right in the middle of a lake between Seattle and Bellevue; and even a California town containing much more than Johnny Cash's prison blues.